Monday, March 20, 2006

Ponder


Do I look for a girl based on who I want to be or who I am now?

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I'm boycotting your blog... but 'til I decide:

Well, you should strive to be NOW who you "want to be"... but def. look based on who you are now... whats if you never change? Or whats if you change your mind on who you're "gonna be." You are what you are. Some things NEVER change.

But def. dont look based on that pic. Man, where do you find these things?!?

3/20/2006 11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that you should go out with someone based on who you want to be. But only if the person you want to be is possible and not just a phase. You don't want to change after marriage, for the better, and then your spouse is 3 steps behind you.

3/20/2006 5:04 PM  
Blogger Suma said...

S... why the boycot? If your boycotting something I can think of a lot worthier causes..

Almostholy: I think you raise a great point.. but from my experience so far.. I've mainly met people that were on either sides of me.. I'm just conflicted on which side to chose.. The more relaxed comfortable chilled out kinda girl.. or the more chassidish.. good mother rolemodel kinda girl.. I want to head toward the latter.. but yet I'd prob. feel more at ease and comfortable with the chilled out.. there are other variables.. but these are the sharp directions..

3/20/2006 5:08 PM  
Blogger Suma said...

oh chaim.. you popped up there somehow before my post.. but i didn't see you to comment..

I think I'm leaning toward your outlook.. but you make a good point in terms of "phase" that is important to point out..

3/20/2006 5:12 PM  
Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

How about based on what you want your children to be like.

If you think about it, what you want your children to be like, normaly is exactly what you really think YOU should be like, even if you arent there yet.

I have a friend who told me after a date with a girl that he didnt know or realize what he wanted in a girl, untill they started talking about family, kids etc. (makes sense?)

3/21/2006 4:03 PM  
Blogger Suma said...

Hey Sheigitz..

I'm glad you brought that up!

I always tell that to people.. the only problem is.. I know a lot of people that what things for their child.. and want their child to be "what they couldn't be" in other words.. they gave up on themselves.. so they at least wasnt something from their children..

yes, if they had to do it over they would be and do what they want for their kids.. but the fact is.. they aren't..

So it might all boil down to.. being honest with myself.. where am I really heading.. and catch that train with someone else..

3/21/2006 9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woah, easy there anon...
I think one more four letter word would convince us. Why'd you stop there?

3/22/2006 1:22 PM  
Blogger Suma said...

Some people are looking at S's comment and thinking.. what is s/he talking about..

s/he is commenting on a post that I removed above..

I appreciate apposing views and people that like to express themselves.. but firstly, no profanity.. and second, you have to have a rational argument of comment.. not just trying to blatantly classify and dump on a group of individuals..

thanx :-)

3/22/2006 2:09 PM  
Blogger Esther said...

in a totally unoffensive way- why would a girl who is on a level that you would like to 'one day' be on, want to marry you the way you are now? I don't think someone who is on a considerably higher spiritual level should or would marry someone who is not on their level, no matter what their intentions are. Especially considering that the male is supposed to be the mashpia figure in the realationship.

3/22/2006 9:22 PM  
Blogger Suma said...

Hey wandering.. damn it.. I never thought of that..

no just kiddin..

I'm not talking "considerably higher" I'm talking about someone that is still on my spectrum.. just on the higher level of it..

3/23/2006 2:56 PM  
Blogger Suma said...

roz.. agree almost holy makes a wise comment up there.. I don't plan on changing thaaat much.. but I am working on myself to become a better person.. spiritually etc..

3/26/2006 4:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's simple, the girl should be on a higher level, b/c she is the one raising your kids, or at least will be around them most of the time, if you happen to be on that level as well, great but if not, and youhave big plans for your kids, try to get something better, nto much other wise you wont be able to relate, and if thats the case, u have to start changing kid, the change doesnt start after marriage, it begins now. saying that you'll change later, is foolish. anyhow i know what you will say, a girl better than you wont want you, well i ask you, whAT does that mean anyway, what does she have over you? u watch movies, dude, once married, if she doesnt want it in her hosue, u wont be watching a whole lot, i mean naturaly ur not going todo stuff if she doesnt approve, so ultimately u will be on the same level

3/31/2006 11:15 AM  

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